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I think you're thinking of someone else.
I've fallen into this trap of wanting everything I write to be less than 200 words. I'm writing to match my attention span, which has been waning for a decade. I love you, internet, but you've rewired me. I'm a goldfish.
I've just emerged from a week of activity. Seeing people, doing things--the family business. My sister was visiting from overseas, so all of us and our partners spent as much time together as possible.
For a person who spends so much time alone, it was borderline surreal. I'm so terribly unsocial that after a day or two of steady interaction I feel like a part of my brain shuts down. I mean, I'm there, eating, talking, making plans--and I'm happy to be there, because these are people I love--but everything seems odd and other, like watching my life through the wrong end of binoculars. At the end of it, there's an unshakeable sense I've imagined it all.

I've just emerged from a week of activity. Seeing people, doing things--the family business. My sister was visiting from overseas, so all of us and our partners spent as much time together as possible.
For a person who spends so much time alone, it was borderline surreal. I'm so terribly unsocial that after a day or two of steady interaction I feel like a part of my brain shuts down. I mean, I'm there, eating, talking, making plans--and I'm happy to be there, because these are people I love--but everything seems odd and other, like watching my life through the wrong end of binoculars. At the end of it, there's an unshakeable sense I've imagined it all.

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Also... KITTEH
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But there's a dilemma there, too. It turns into a bubble of its own. There's something to be said for situations that force you to adapt--it's def a way to learn more about yourself.
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Meatie!
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Bulletproof windows with a speaker--what a perfect description. I wonder what it is that makes some people so comfortable around others and some of us so not. There are very few times in my life where I didn't feel like I was a completely separate species from the humans around me.
Are there times you like being social? If you could dictate, what would be your ideal social interaction?
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I really wish I knew, you know? Maybe then it might be easier to interact with fellow flesh sacks. Then again, knowing me I'd still find reasons not to, haha.
I do enjoy being social on occasion! It's much easier if I have opportunities to get away and destress a little - that's precisely how I handled the gigantic convention I went to several years--make that eleven years back, good grief! At the time my anxiety and Oh No There Are People was much worse than it is now, so if it worked then it will certainly continue to work, I feel. I also don't like to be pressed on a subject unless it's something I'm extremely interested in, at which point I can talk for hours about it (and have done, re: translating.) I think that one is the Asperger's showing its face.
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Otherwise, I think my perfect social situation is dancing. It's the one thing I love to do with other people--it's something about that collective sense of freedom and happiness.
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Dancing is fun! There's a point, I've found, where you don't even care if you're terrible at it (if in fact you are terrible), you're just doing it because you enjoy it.
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I don't get people who don't like dancing. I always assume it's bc they feel self-conscious. Personally, I couldn't care less if someone's good at it or not. If they look like they're having fun, it's always beautiful.
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I've had my self-conscious "oh god I can't dance what am I even" moments, so I know the feeling to an extent. I usually ignore it, though. I must have looked pretty entertaining at my first high school dance - I was wearing this terribly dated dress (to be fair, it didn't look half bad on me) that looked like someone took a bolt of burgundy velvet and tried to squish it into the approximate shape of a rose. I proceeded to dance very energetically in this thing. It was apparently hilarious. :D
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Another thing I've learned - and maybe this is true for others, too - is that it takes me a good, long while to warm up in social situations, especially when they're new or unfamiliar. I find I have to do a lot of listening and observing - and even a bit of testing myself with small talk - before my weirdly anxious heart is ready to try more. (Usually, by the time I reach that point, the conversation is over.)
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That's been a tough one for me. I think the hardest part is realising a lot of people just don't want to--or even know how to--have those conversations. I've been so lucky to know people (like you and R, and many more over the years) who love digging into abstract ideas. But some of the people I like best don't think about the world in the abstract--like, ever. And that is totally ok! I don't think it makes them superficial; our perceptions of the world are different. But I can't help feeling sort of lonely.
"(Usually, by the time I reach that point, the conversation is over.)" Hahaha, so much yes.
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I'm continuing the rough draft of a novel I finally started writing nearly a year ago. I wrote the first part through NaNoWriMo, which suggests a daily word count of 1,560 to make a 50K novel. I found myself typing like mad just to get meet that goal, steadily enjoying the process less and less. It's not uncommon to find a lot of people in the forums stressing out and lamenting that they just can't write. (And the pep talks are infuriating. "You got your novel started, so you're still a winner!")
This time around, with Camp NaNoWriMo, I set my own daily word limit: 300. It's not too difficult to meet, and if I go over that limit, I feel even more accomplished. And unlike the regular NaNo, if I miss a day or two, I won't feel terrible and end up panicking and rushing to make up for lost writing time. I can easily meet 600, 900, or even over 1,000 words after a break.
I like the idea of NaNoWriMo, but the 1,560 daily word count is intimidating. I think it also ends up with a lot of unhappy writers who feel like they can't accomplish their goals. I personally prefer "chunk writing," and I feel more motivated to finish a story with this method.
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There was a time when I was writing so much I had to reel myself in, but I got burnt out and "took a break" that didn't seem to end. The longer I went without writing, the scarier it felt. Imzy was great because it sort of got me into the habit of writing *something*--even just comments or the wotd posts, so I'm seeing this a positive step.
It makes me happy I'm not the only one who finds pep talks a bit underwhelming. haha.