first we have to see

[underused]

A few years ago, we (partner, cat, dog) moved from an apartment in a rapidly gentrifying urban neighbourhood to an old house in the country. It's been an adventure with a steep learning curve--not only in its practicalities, but in its more existential readjustments.

I grew up in the country--in this house--and couldn't wait to leave. Now, somehow, I'm here again, building a life on top of a mountain of nostalgia and assorted crap. I love this place, but it makes me crazy. I'm also alone a lot. I mean, I knew I would be, but I thought the isolation would compel creativity. Turns out, not really. Until now, I had also (optimistically) assumed my reluctance to self-direct was situational. Also not so much. I've made some miscalculations.

Above all, I had no intention of writing about this--possibly not ever, certainly not today. I meant to tell a snappy, impersonal story about a secondhand cast-iron sink. Now I'm three paragraphs in and thinking maybe context is okay. Maybe.

If not, I still have the sink as a fall-back.

First we have to see. Or first we have to be taught to see. We have to be taught to see here, because here is everywhere, related to everywhere else, and if we don’t see, hear, taste, smell and feel in this place - not only will we never know anything but the world of sense will be by that much diminished everywhere.
William Carlos Willams

Comments

[underused]

Heh, I guess it's unavoidable. It may be why humans invented the phrase "character building." ☺