I think you're thinking of someone else.

[underused]

I've fallen into this trap of wanting everything I write to be less than 200 words. I'm writing to match my attention span, which has been waning for a decade. I love you, internet, but you've rewired me. I'm a goldfish.

I've just emerged from a week of activity. Seeing people, doing things--the family business. My sister was visiting from overseas, so all of us and our partners spent as much time together as possible.

For a person who spends so much time alone, it was borderline surreal. I'm so terribly unsocial that after a day or two of steady interaction I feel like a part of my brain shuts down. I mean, I'm there, eating, talking, making plans--and I'm happy to be there, because these are people I love--but everything seems odd and other, like watching my life through the wrong end of binoculars. At the end of it, there's an unshakeable sense I've imagined it all.

Comments

[merikuru]

I'll admit I could be one of those people. I just usually try to keep a lid on it, haha.

I've had my self-conscious "oh god I can't dance what am I even" moments, so I know the feeling to an extent. I usually ignore it, though. I must have looked pretty entertaining at my first high school dance - I was wearing this terribly dated dress (to be fair, it didn't look half bad on me) that looked like someone took a bolt of burgundy velvet and tried to squish it into the approximate shape of a rose. I proceeded to dance very energetically in this thing. It was apparently hilarious. :D